WHEN IT HURTS A BIT MORE THAN NORMAL

You can walk out one morning and find 11 plants eaten overnight like a thief came while your guard was down. And you’re wobbling shaky through the days anyway, so it hurts a bit more than normal. A bit like pieces of your mended heart just got shattered again. Hurts a bit like giving up would just be easier than the fight to keep going.

Traps and pepper and everything can be set out as if you can catch all the evil in one swoop. Make the loss stop. Make the hurting stop. Make everyone’s hurting hearts stop hurting.

And even when traps and all the things do keep life growing, your heart may not rejoice. May not be filled. Because tonight? It’s just another fight. And you’re a bit tired of being beaten up.

It’s easy to hope when it’s not life and death. It’s easy to see you’re being guided somewhere better. Easier to believe. But when all the pain of loss is literally life and death? People. Pets. Animals. Plants. What then? It’s harder to believe this too shall pass and you’re being led to better, only without.

If your light feels dim, is it? If you’re a bit weary, is the light? If the light you have isn’t powered by you, how can it lose power? You may not feel the strongest, but it’s never been about feelings. But rather that the light will keep showing up and good will not be conquered.

If hopes are disappointed? If heart is heavy? Perhaps they are being made stronger. Because nothing that we meet in these days, can exhaust the determination of the light.

And if the light is still going to blaze? If it’s going to shine in all that radiant brightness? Then we will meet the light where we’re at. And our hope will be that this light, through us? Can become light to someone else. So maybe it’s okay, to not be okay. 🌱