WHY DO WE EXIST?

It's when you're down on your knees, crying out to the Lord, that He can work best in you and through you.  And this is exactly where I was in early November 2016.  

He said very plainly to my heart, "Get up now.  There is work to be done."

I'm Christine.  And you'll never hear me say this is "my nonprofit" or even "my idea", because it certainly wasn't.  In fact, at first?  I spent a good week telling God, "Nope. You've got the wrong girl." and "I don't even know what to do or how to start" and "My days are filled as it is".

Let's backtrack for a second.  I was praying all year for God to show me how I can serve this world.  My heart, it aches daily.  I see homelessness, the hungry, people without education.  I see inequality.  Animal abuse.  Factory farming.  I know about it, and I see it, and it's hard when your heart is hurting to pick one and focus.  So, my prayer that year was, "Lord how do you want me to help?  I have hands and feet, and yes they are busy with two littles, but I can still serve and help here close to home.  Just tell me where."

And He was silent.  For almost the whole year.  Silent about where to go and what to do, and every time I thought of pushing in one direction or another out of impatience, it's almost as if I felt a hand on my shoulder, and a whisper of "just wait".

Ya'll may not know me, so let me tell you - waiting is not a virtue our Lord has bestowed upon me, and yet He constantly tries to teach it to me.  We are obviously still working on it.

The morning after I felt the Lord tell me there was work to be done, I woke up, and a verse kept ringing in my head.  I later looked it up and found it in John 21:15-17 (NLT).

Jesus asked Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

“Yes, Lord,” Peter replied, “you know I love you.”

“Then feed my lambs,” Jesus told him.

Jesus repeated the question: “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

“Yes, Lord,” Peter said, “you know I love you.”

“Then take care of my sheep,” Jesus said.

A third time he asked him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. 

He said, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Then feed my sheep."

And then a few more days further into November, talking with my Mother, she casually mentioned a soup kitchen to help those in need, out here in Rockwall County.  I thought, why not?  Why not start one?  Her reply?  Funding.

Maybe I'm quirky, but I don't think funding is a reason not to try.

Over the next couple days I started really thinking about it.  And I wondered if this is where the Lord was calling me.  I started to doubt.  

The trouble was, the more I started to doubt, the more loud the call became.  Deafening, even.  Not escapable.  I cannot adequately describe how loud it was, yet there wasn't a sound to be heard.

Not knowing where to start, I called a friend who had started a nonprofit some time ago, just to get the ins and outs of what setting one up is like.  While talking, and scribbling down notes about EIN's and Secretary of State filings on an old envelope, I flipped it over.  I was still listening, but there was something in me, wanting to be drawn out.  After a couple minutes, there it was.  I drew a rectangular building, with street lamp and flower container, and a sign over it "Food and Grace".

I agonize over names.  This one just flowed right out of me.  

And the thought is, can we do this differently?  Can we not only provide food, but also provide community?  Can we have a conversation?  And maybe that conversation leads someone to a better life.  Whether that's in finding God, or finding a job, or both.

I showed the drawing to my husband that night, and his response upon seeing my drawing was "We are doing this."

And then he asked the kids if we should and the kids both unanimously said "Yes".

Of course they did.  

Over the course of days, more and more ideas came to me.  Can we get grocery stores and restaurants to contribute food?  Can my existing business be a way to provide income to run the kitchen?  Can we have a farm? Can people who need jobs work the farm?  

One little idea started becoming one huge idea and I started getting a little overwhelmed.  I started to doubt again.

It's a difficult thing, being human.

I think this is why the Lord only shows you glimpses.  One small step at a time.

But in my overwhelm, stuck in traffic, I looked over at some manufactured homes and thought "I wonder if we could use one of those for the kitchen and have room for conversation as well.  Workshops.  Whatever is needed."  

And then I looked at the price tag, and I thought, "Where am I going to get $25,000-30,000?!?!"

I just stared, and started praying, "Lord, I'm doing this.  You got me.  You've got my whole family.  But I don't know how this is even going to happen."

You guys.  I kid you not, just then, the lady on the radio said, "I don't know what you're going through today, but know this.  You are loved.  And there are more people than you realize, ready and willing to help you."

I have no idea what song was playing before or after that sentence, but I remember word for word what the broadcaster said, and I had chills.  I had chills because I believed it.

Around Christmas, it was on my heart to help a few families during the holidays.  We delivered food and supplied holiday meals for 20 people.  (We worked with a restaurant here in Rockwall who had an Angel Tree.)  I used a grocery pick up service.  And that morning I decided, while waiting in my car, I would cut tags with "Feed My Sheep :: Food and Grace" on them to tie to the bags.  

My mother had given me a new paper cutter, just days before.  She didn't give it to me for any particularly special reason.  She didn't know I was going to have a last minute idea, needing it in my car that da

What I saw?  God was in every single detail.

We don't have a kitchen yet.  We're currently considering options on how best to start, which looks to be: cook food in a certified kitchen and bring it to an alternate location to serve.  

Our overall vision?  It's a building where people can come to not only nourish their bodies, but feed their souls as well, with friendship and community.  We want to help those in need, help themselves up, out of whatever situation they are in, holding judgement, and only lending a helping hand.  A place where we focus more on the joy of seeing someone walk through the door, and less on what brought them there.  It simply doesn't matter. What matters is helping someone up who is down, and being the face of God to someone in need. 

We'd also love to be somewhat self-sustaining, which requires some property to grow food.  We're thinking vertical gardening.  Less space required : less gardening work : great bounty if done properly : and all food going to the kitchen to feed those in need.  

Every step we've taken so far, we've seen God's Grace from the beginning filtering through to the present day. We have full faith He'll carry this kitchen through completion.  If you'd like to help, we'd be honored to have you on board.